I've just switched out The September Issue for Project Runway. The dog episode. I couldn't listen to Grace flip her shit anymore. I love Grace, and I think she's typically justified in most of her issues, but not tonight. I just feel like I need to write.
I am constantly thinking about my fashion, expanding it, and how to improve my knowledge. Tonight I was looking through 50 Shoes that Changed the World, or something like that, then I chose You Know You Want It, by Eric Daman, who does the costumes- if that's what you really want to call them- on Gossip Girl, then I decided on Elle for a while. (Yes, I was not busy, even for St. Patty's Day. I wore a cute Irish outfit, did not go out.)
Anyway, my point is this: After reading and watching and living these clothes, I actually realized that even with my history, my anti-fashion, my wanna-be Spice Girls days, etc., I've always been fashionable. I was thinking about these corduroy pants I had when I was 11. I was struggling, because I was a little more... advanced than most girls at that age (I was tall, I had boobs, I wanted to be an athlete) but I had these pants that I loved. Now, looking back at them, they were odd and too short, but still, these pants were so cool. they were made of 3 different corduroy fabrics, robin's egg blue, navy blue, and a royal blue, with different kinds of corduroy. Maybe not the most timeless pants I've ever owned (see my tweed, wide-leg trouser), but for 1997, they were freaking awesome. Then, once I moved from Mesquite to Colorado, I hit my "anti-fashion" phase. I thought I was being unique and not trendy, but now all I can think about is the line in SLC Punk! that Summer Phoenix utters near the end about people who want to be different all wearing the same uniform. Plaid bottom, band tee, look at me, I'm so unique, just like everyone else.
I was thinking, because I am gaining confidence in myself, about how, even though I may not have been as into fashion as I am now, I always had my really unique sense of fashion. And honestly, I'm lucky enough to have found something I love. It's always been there, it's just been about fine-tuning it. Which is never done. Always keep looking, keep changing, keep educating, always make yourself the best you can be. Look good on the outside, feel good on the inside.